Saturday, 18 February 2012

• Get Some Cheese On That Plate!

  

  I’m the definition of finicky. The thought of eating the same dish, ingredient, or even cuisine two days in a row makes my skin crawl, but there is one exception. I love cheese. I eat it everyday and get cranky if I’m without it. As part of our wedding vows, my husband promised to not only love in sickness and in health, but also always have at least three varieties of cheese in the fridge at all times. One of my lifetime goals is to some day have my very own cheese-aging cave.  Right at this moment, I have waiting for me in a tightly packed cheese drawer, mozzarella, Grana Padano, fontina, Valdeon, Flada, Kraft singles, Baby Bell, and Tillamook cheddar (for cheese fries). Even though my favorite cheese is the supreme and legendary Epoisses, I am no cheese snob and find just as much satisfaction and comfort from a little Philly on Ritz.

  For anyone who might be green at picking cheese because they can’t bring themselves to betray Kraft or hide from it under the vein of lactose intolerance (most aged cheeses have no lactose), walking into a cheese store can be intense.  Here’s a quick primer so you can hang with the cool kids next time you find yourself facing a cheesy quandary. 

   

  Soft

  Soft cheeses have a higher percentage of moisture because they are drained, but not pressed. They can be mold ripened for a mild cheese or have a washed rind for an aggressive kick. Epoisses, my personal cheese beloved, is washed with brandy and is famous for its room-clearing funk.                 

  faves: Robiola, Epoisses, Camembert

  

   

  Semi Soft

  Similar to the soft cheese category, they can be stinky or mild, washed or bloomy, wrapped in grape leaves or ash. They have been pressed slightly and have lower moisture content than the soft cheeses.

  faves: Tomme, Taleggio, Ptit Basque

   

   

  Firm

  These are the perfect starter cheeses for the timid. Most of the liquid is pressed out of the curds, which are then molded and often cooked again.  The low moisture content results in a long shelf life so a wedge of parm can go a long way.

  faves: Idiazabal, Gouda, Pecorino

   

   

  Blue

  Not all blues are created equal. Many hide from it in fear of the stinky or overly sharp. My favorite blues are all smooth and mild, with only the faintest kick. Just remember to stay far away from the pre-crumbled nuggets of evil, it will harden you blue cheese heart.

  faves: Fourme d’Ambert, Saint Agur, Cabrales

   

   

  Fresh

  Fresh cheeses have the shortest shelf life and the least processing. They are unaged and mild and can be pressed, cooked, or pulled. It is very easy to make fresh cheese at home with rennet, citric acid, and a thermometer.

   faves: Queso Blanco, Paneer, Ricotta

   

   

  Processed

  I firmly believe that processed cheese has its place in the world. I’m not a fancy mac and cheese girl, when I’m hung over or PMSy only Velveeta will do. I’ve heard many misguided individuals spread nasty rumors about processed cheese, but here are the facts. Processed cheese is cheese. The first steps that turn milk into Kraft singles are identical to making any other kind of cheese. The difference comes from the addition steps in which the cheese is melted and blended with emulsifiers and various salts. This effects how the proteins in the milk align and bind together and in short, result in oozy, gooey, awesomeness.

  faves: Kraft Singles, Velveeta, Laughing Cow

  

   

  When you’re putting together your cheese plate, aim for three to five cheeses. To keep it interesting, try to hit different cheese categories and milk types. Fluff it up with fruit, nuts, crackers and bread. Finally, an easy drink pairing is always a dessert or fortified wine. Sherry is inexpensive, and with a high alcohol content, can get your guests fuzzy faster.

  Now that you’re hip to the jive, what’s on your cheese plate?

   

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