Imagine Obama standing before a massive "Mission Accomplished" sign.
He's really gone and done it now.
Merely years following our country's greatest economic collapse in recent history came the results of the collapse on the fast food industry-ranging from your lowly McDonald'ses and Burger Kings to your middle-of-the-road Applebee'ses and Friday'ses-the loss of plentiful condiments.
I'll never forget that day I drunkenly stumbled into McDonald's and was told the ranch sauce would be an extra 50 cents. I can't afford that! I'd already poured out all my change on the counter and the maximum it could afford me was Dollar Menu fries.
This was atrocious. Not only that I was about done with school with no job lined up about to enter a "real world" where unemployment was snowballing downhill, but that I couldn't even get a litany of extra sauces to come with my fries.
What I really wanted, what any of us really ever wanted back in 2008-that simpler time-was a lot of saucy flavor with some fries mixed in.
R.I.P. Condiments
Over time, upon duping people into taking me out to Applebee's and similar restaurants (#brokeasajoke), I found more and more burgers juiceless and onion rings wasabi-sauceless. They'd made their cuts, and their cuts were hitting us where it hurt most: our fat, lazy mouths.
And now Obama has the audacity-the audacity!-to pass a billion page healthcare bill within whose dark, dreary corners there lies the corpse of the once-thriving condiment industry flopping and thrusting about, faintly whimpering every now and then: "Before I die-b-b-b-efore I'm gone forever---tell the world, tell EVERYONE!"
He gently swallows and takes a deep breath-"Tell everyone how powerful I once was. Tell everyone of what I did to America. Let NO ONE forget the power of CONDIMENTS..."
And with Condimo's (that's what I imagine his name was) dying breath Obama has made it so, forcing full calorie disclosure-of even the condiments which,
as it turns out, are where the bulk of calories in fast food lies-and presumably winning America's war on condiments, begun by our failing economy but ending with our (EPIC)failing BMI's.
Have you noticed the decline of condiments over the past few years? Do you think you'll be cutting down on condiments when presented with their exact calorie count?
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Comments (10)
Glen Beck? Is this you?
No, I haven't noticed that. I have only been in one fast food place that said if I needed more condiments than what they've already given me, then it would cost me extra (as if the 2 packets of dressing wasn't enough for the small amount of salad) and President Obama was not in office. It was good old Dubya. Perhaps I should give my condiments back as I always end up throwing them away. I don't like packaged condiments. They are gross.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - i think you've misunderstood my post: it is about how condiments have made america fat and how the healthcare bill is demanding calorie disclosure of all aspects of fast food, including condiments. combined with the fact that many fast food chains have cut back on giving out heaping servings of condiments/sauce when business declined recently, i humorously declared it a "war on condiments". if anything, this is a food related mockery of hyperbolic political commentary.
@missneeraja@tripcrazed - You are right I did (kind of). The political hyperbole stood out the most to me (hence the Glen Beck). I haven't been in a fast food restaurant in a while so I don't really know about the reduction in giving out condiments. I've heard people complain about it, but they are the type to have some salad with their dressing.
I think the health care reforms to include nutrition content of everything including condiments means well, but it won't do anything to change the way people eat. People who care about calories and nutrition may reduce the amount of condiments that they use. However the vast majority of people will think, "wow that's gross" but still continue eating the way they always have. It's not like the nutrition information of condiments haven't been available on the things people already buy at home. People know that condiments aren't calorie free or nutritious. They don't care.
Nooo . . . I need my BBQ sauce.
Hahaha. I'm not so sure condiments are what are making America fat. I think it's all the grease in those burgers and fries that are doing the job. Now maybe if you're soaking your giant chicken ceasar salad in full fat ranch dressing or soaking up that already fat laden pizza with garlic butter sauce, you're not doing yourself any favors --- but in the end, it all comes down to the main meal itself, not necessarily the condiments (though I will admit they can play a role).
To answer your first question: No, I have not noticed a decline in condiments. At least not overall. I was hacked off when I found out that McDonald's wanted 50 cents for ranch or barbeque sauce packets (unless you order chicken nuggets, but then you only get one container, which is never enough for me). But now that I'm trying to eat healthier, knowing the calorie count of the condiments won't be a bad thing for me. It'll help me cut back. (not that I didn't already know that dressings and barbeque sauces have the potential to be unhealthy).
big mac meal calories > ketchup calories
I don't eat fast food, it is heart attack inducing and I have to stay in shape to fight this atrocious, Unconstitutional, radio-frequency national ID, multiple billions added to the national debt, no one can afford it health care deform bill that our Socialist, behind closed doors President, Senate and Congress has saddled us with. I read the monstrosity, every last word of it and if you haven't read it you have no clue how our freedoms, our inalienable rights, have been swept away with a pen stroke, nor do you, in my opinion, have the right to express an opinion about it. They all need to go in November, Democrats, Republicans, all of them, the majority of them didn't even read it and none of them will fall under it's mandate!
On a food note, it doesn't take that much time to cook a quick healthy meal, pack a healthy lunch or snack and it's is less expensive. No more excuses, eat healthy people, stay healthy, exercise, get off your backside and do something for yourself, your country, and your neighbor!
@mz_d0rkabl3@xanga - haha so true
Jeez, at the school I work at a serving of ketchup is considered a vegetable! (and you are charged for a vegetable if you take any ketchup on your tray).
i've noticed it too, but i've always assumed the stinginess was a cost saving tactic and not because they think condiments are atrociously unhealthy.