...eh. Not quite. So this morning I woke up and Mom asked me if I could manage throwing the chicken breasts in the oven after I got out of class at 3. I barely got all the crap from my eyes and this woman is asking me to think about dinner? "Uhm, I guess. What do I have to do?" I asked, voice scratchy.
"You could just throw some garlic and salt and pepper on it. Or my terriyaki sauce recipe is in that filing box thing...or..." she was distracted, but continued to mumble.
"Yeah I'll throw something together, Mom," I assured her.
Of course I could throw something together, I thought to myself. Before you could say Betty Crocker I was logged onto kraft.com looking up chicken recipes. I found a delightful recipe for bruschetta stuffed chicken which was only about 5 ingredients and I hit print and was skipping downstairs to see what I needed to buy.
I guess my first hang up was that the recipe was for boneless chicken breasts and I had 6 chicken breasts
with the bones. Ugh.
I'll just throw the stuffing and tomatoes around the chicken, I thought.
It'll come out the same - just not "stuffed." I found an awesome chocolate mousse recipe and was psyched.
I started with the chocolate mousse which apparently was a two step process. I first melted the chocolate into the milk and whisked the shit out of it until it smelled like the most delicious cup of hot cocoa I've ever smelled...I wanted to take a huge gulp but then reminded myself that Mom never drinks half the ingredients before putting them into our meals. So I forced the 5 year old inside me to quiet down and continued whisking the instant pudding and milk/chocolate goodness together. Refrigerate for 20 minutes.
Easyyyy. I set the timer and then dragged out my bone-filled chickens.
I've never worked with raw chicken before...or any raw meat for that matter. Whenever I've cooked in the past, Mom has always cleaned up and handled the meats. I peeled the huge pieces off the Styrofoam plate and rinsed it a little under cold water. I then laid the rinsed pieces in the pan. Salt, pepper, garlic. I mixed the diced tomatoes, chicken stuffing and mozzarella cheese together in a bowl and then just kinda plopped it on top of the chicken. Wow, this looks
tres professional. I was working miracles in this kitchen.
I grabbed my cell phone after covering the chicken and tossing it in the oven, time to text Chris. "Baby, I'm going to make the best housewife ever one day
" I texted away.
Then, I took out the chocolate from the fridge and stared into the bowl, ew...chunks? This is supposed to be delicious, creamy mousse. I whisked in the cool whip and then had an ingenious idea: strainer. So I meticulously stood there, straining what felt like a gallon of chocolate mousse into 4 little, itty-bitty cups. I cut up the strawberries, sprinkled some sugar on top and put that all back in the fridge. This time, I licked the spoon before putting it in the sink and as predicted:
orgasm.
The chicken, in theory, was delicious. I mean, it looked amazing in the pan. I had some sassy green beans and fancy Rice-A-Roni all cooked up. We were all so excited to dig in. Matthew, who I'm convinced doesn't have taste buds, wolfed the entire chicken down in a single bite. Mom had to microwave hers because it was "just a little pink, but now it's great. This is really great!" she smiled, eating contently.
I looked at my chicken, which I had to nuke a little and although it wasn't "pink" anymore...it was kinda "peach" colored and I don't like chicken on the bone to begin with so I stuck with my green beans and played vegetarian for one night. Dad kinda licked the stuffing and was like "
MMMM" but managed to only eat green beans and Rice-A-Roni.
Alright, so my first attempt at making dinner was a flub. At least the chocolate was orgasmic and everyone loved it...either that or they were just so starving that they wanted to be able to walk away with something in their stomachs.
So in conclusion, Matt and Dad are now "practicing Matt's driving" (aka: heading to Checkers for burgers and loaded chili cheese fries) and Mom's laying in bed since she's "exhausted from the gym". I had another pack of Disney Princess Fruit Snacks and decided to share my story with the world/webmd salmonella.
I confessed to Chris that I actually won't be the most amazing
housewife ever...but I think I'd still make a pretty awesome
trophy wife
.
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Comments (8)
I actually find it more difficult to prepare chicken with the bones still in it. It's harder to figure out if the chicken is all cooked through than if they were boneless. Maybe next time if you try it again with the bones, try piercing them so the juices will get further into the meet to the bone or do a quick check by slicing through the meat while cooking and see if it's done. Great job though! And now I want chocolate mousse. :P
This post was very entertaining! Give us more food stories like this!
Hahaha, cute story.
hahaha love it. i'd be lost with that chicken.
When in doubt about meat's cooking time, aluminum foil is your best friend. It will cook the meat but not burn it...unless you leave it in for a really really really really long time.
Just make sure it's WRAPPED in the aluminum foil and not just covered with it.
hahahahahaha. that was a hilarious story...i often experiment in the kithen, although i;m too scared of touching raw meat, so i go with fish filets or mustard crust chicken steaks and experiment with different glazes, herbs, salads and sauces. so far my family hasn;t had the guts to complain due to my huge enthusiasm...even when i served up ROCK hard pizza xD
get a meat thermometer.
Let me guess -- the chicken was still frozen.